okay so now school has officially started. how exciting...not. second day of school and i have borrowed 2 books from the science/medical library. it is so untypical of me! my first time reading academic texts borrowed from library. usually i can just survive on notes and tips from smart friends aka Chem God plus hard work on my side. come to think of it, i did NOT pass a single H3 test/exam with the exception of A lvl H3. HMMMMM. i definitely need to put in more effort than i ever did in j2. i hope with all my heart that the syllabus does not transgress the parameters of my intellectual ability. if not i'll just commit suicide and dieeee.

my comments page has become very stagnant ): i think it's cuz i hardly update my blog as much as i used to. i know commenting is lj-only oops i really should change my template soon. get a more cheery and kiddy one hahaha. and one that allows everyone to tag. so people, pls comment! even though there isn't much to comment on lol. 

these days i feel a sense of emptiness every morning when i wake up. it's like there's a void in me, waiting for something or someone to fill it. with what exactly, i am not sure. it's not a terrible feeling, but it is insidiously invading my core. i'm just waiting for the day i break down completely and see what's left of me. that day might not come but i can never be too sure. 

i really miss my family )): i think i can burst into tears now but i try keep them in because i don't want to appear as a wimp. and mainly because i'm willing myself to be strong and independent. despite my mum's incessant nagging i still love her a lotlotlotlot. and my brother and father too. sigh. im looking forward to weekends.

okay time to sign off cuz meeting with jiahui and other hall people to go holland v for rag celebratory lunch! woohoo~

HAHAHA watched brainless but entertaining  videos on youtube just now. anw here's a quiz i koped from brenda's blog oops:

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Xin Yi
2. Germaine
3. wxy

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. silver_sparkles_yi
2. xin_pisces89
3. whatever

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Legs
2. Feet (hahaha i mean it)
3. My smile

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My hopeless eyecircles
2. Skin tone maybe
3. I'm quite content,actually (:

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Chinese
2. Hainanese
3. Hokkien
(i don't have malay blood, thanks)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Losing my loved ones
2. Having no aspirations
3. Lizards (SERIOUSLY)

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Food
2. Sleep
3. More food

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:
1. Shorts
2. Tee shirt
3. Specsss

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. Alicia Keys
2. Leona Lewis
3. Jason Mraz

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW):
1. Viva la vida
2. Closer
3. London Bridge

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Connection
2. Trust
3. Understanding

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Height
2. Looks
3. Smile

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Eating
2. Sleeping
3. Singing in the toilet

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Sleep after getting my laundry out of the washer
2. Fast-forward time to tmr's rag prac
3. Eat something

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:
1. Pharmaceutical sales/marketing
2. Psychologist
3. Teacher

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Paris is THE LOVE <3
2. Maldives
3. Norway to witness midnight sun

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Get married,have kids (necessarily in this order)
2. Witness midnight sun (i'm obsessed)
3. I think of more as i age

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. I love shopping
2. I speak rather softly
3. I like wearing skirts

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE NOT STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. I can be quite rational
2. I dislike it when people don't cut straight to the point
3. I'm stubborn

THREE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW
1. Steff
2. Wei Li
3. xiaolongbao

goodnight!

went to the zoo with table partners (grace & huiqing) on friday. haven't been there for close to 10 years, i think. thank goodness for the clear and breezy weather. not too much of the sun, too (: met hq and her projectmates @ kfc for lunch. that was my 3rd consecutive fast food meal in 3 days :( it's no wonder my cough and sore throat are not healing as fast as i'd like them to. 

slacked at home during the weekend ;p was entirely unproductive but frankly i had no intentions of doing anything useful at all. i don't have many of these days left. haha. but the more time i spend alone the more i thought about things. mainly personal matters. it's good to recharge regularly but i figured that it's not healthy to coop myself up for more than 2 days. i tend to think too much beyond that. life's not that complicated, really. i should stop trying to rationalise everything because certain things just happen without rhyme or reason. and i don't have to be so hard on myself. be bold, move on. 

true to myself

oh yeah, i've worked out various ways to get to sheares hall from home. you must understand that i live in this ulu part of yishun (north end of s'pore) and sheares hall is located off heng mui keng terrace, which does not exist on my map (as in my very own map of familiar places) until a few days ago. haha. so, i took out the bus directory and conscientiously scrutinised the bus routes and devised my routes. the fastest way will take more than 1 hour, i believe. oh well, there's nothing else i can do. i'm alr gonna stay in hall so i'll save on a whole lot of travelling time every weekday. 

dance pracs this tues thurs and friday. shopping w zhi and ps on wed (: and possibly dinner with zlkp on fri. yipee!

blogging on steffie's laptop now. having sleepover at her house. they wanna eat @ kfc at bukit timah plaza but i dun wanna go...i'm extremely lazy =P ooops. 

played wii yesterday till 4am. i kept losing the spastic rabbid games. especially the laundry one. i scrubbed the clothes so hard that they became torn. i like the american football game though! had to use both thumbs to navigate my way cuz no strength. lol.

okay this hardly makes any sense at all. tata!

♥ hello all i'm back from m'sia! i need to post a speedy entry because i aim to sleep slightly earlier tonight, so that i wouldn't wake up feeling groggy for camp tmr. i'm supposed to reach nus by 10am. hmmm. okay i just received a call from my ogl! lol. she sounded quite enthusiastic. hope it'll be a fun one! so anw i'll be back on thursday~ don't miss me too much, people! keke. ♥

and hence on friday 20th jun i concluded my four-month working stint as a receptionist! frankly i wasn't particularly upset because i was really looking forward to bumming around before uni starts. speaking of which, i'm getting more apprehensive of campus life. don't ask why because i have not found the answer yet. it's lying somewhere between my conscious mind and unconscious state. the best advice i can give myself is not to expect too much as we all know that expectations give rise to disappointments. 

okay, back to the topic of work. as i was saying, i did not feel too sad that i was leaving. but as i gave out farewell gifts to my closer colleagues and received well-wishes in return, i realised that a part of me is still going to miss the place alot. i'm not totally heartless, afterall :p i've grown used to the working environment there, and although there were more than a few unpleasant moments, i ought to count my blessings. first of all, i have a fellow receptionist whom i really worked well with. we had a lot of "mo qi" and generally managed the reception pretty decently, i would say. i know she wouldn't be reading this, but for goodness' sake i hope she will better take care of her health! she still has 3 young toddlers to take care of...

i also have many lovely colleagues (kris, cecilia, pearlyn et cetera) in the company! i feel that i was really taken care of (and bullied, sometimes) because i'm the youngest. all the lunch treats, words of advice that they had showered upon me. i could not thank them enough. some of them also exposed me to overt and covert office politics, which only made me stronger. of course there are many aspects of interpersonal relationships i still need to grapple with and understand. it's part of growing up. i think this is what makes life worthwhile.

after work, they brought me out for drinks! i had non-alcoholic beverages cuz wasn't intending to get high/tipsy. pretty much defeats their purpose of making me drunk but nvm. haha. i got a bit pissed off at some point but after that i was okay. like what zhi said, there's no right or wrong; it's our own values and principles we gotta face up to. it doesn't matter what others think or say. in the end i just have to be answerable to my own beliefs. 

now for my first day of freedom (saturday). went to witness tea ceremony @ my bro godma's place! her youngest son got married and invited us. heh. the lunch buffet was not bad! anw, my bro godpa said i look like some pakistani woman when i wear eye makeup. hahaha. and my eyeliner wasn't even nicely drawn as we had to rush. it's a compliment but it doesn't sit quite well. yeah, and some random people has been telling me i don't look like a pure chinese. ash thought i'm mixed malay-chinese -.- wondeful. 

after the lunch reception, i went to order new contacts as i have ran out of them. upon seeing i the array of colourful specs on display, i decided that it's time to replace my 4-year-old specs! it's not like i planned to get new specs or anything. sometimes i'm just damn spontaneous. like the previous weekend i wanted to dye my hair after sitting on it for quite long. haha. in the end i didn't bring enough cash so my hair is still naturally black. spontaneity is good, at times (: 

let me do up an impromptu list of tasks i wanna accomplish during this bumming-around period:

1. pack my room
2. hall preparations, if i get to stay on campus
3. learn to do laundry, ironing and general household chores (i'm quite spoilt i know)
4. attempt to refresh my chemistry knowledge 
5. hang out w friends, old and new

i think this should suffice for the time being. best to go slow and steady and not try to do too much at one go. 

i already filled up the coming week with activities :p hope i don't get too caught up in having fun hahaha.

Click on the link below to
http://www.simpletruths.com/nws/arc/08/080610-FJOY.htm
discover the simple secrets to happiness.

my favourite quote of the lot: courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day, saying..." i will try again tomorrow."

sidetrack: squadmates! shall we have stayover on 23rd instead of 24th? help spread the word to others during atc! sorry that i can't be there ): 

i tend to be less loquacious when i'm feeling content/satisfied/relaxed. therefore it is a very good sign when you see short posts such as this (:

i know i have to work hard to earn it. i am not intending to do otherwise. it is in my nature to be competitive so i am not worried, to say the least. i wish you could have more faith in me...that i would not fail you or anybody else. in the end i know you always love me more than i'd ever love you.